I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just sucked dick on a ferry
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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