I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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