Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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