The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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