Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
