i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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