I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
