At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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