Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
