Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
