OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
