while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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