i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
