Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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