is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
