My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
