i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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