I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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