He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
