Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
