he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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