The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
