She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
