i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
