Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
