for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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