I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
