I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
