I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
