Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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