I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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