he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
