dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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