At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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