He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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