I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Randomize