Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Rumble strips road head = magical
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
