He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We got so high we made milksteak
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
