Moan for me like Helen Keller
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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