im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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