You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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