So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize