I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
