I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
