to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
