I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
