It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
