i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
