You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
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And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
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Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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