Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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