Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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