i was born a porn star she said
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
