Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
