you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
