I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
