we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
