I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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