I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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