so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
