you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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