just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
