Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
