i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
