I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
